One Step Inside Doesn't Mean You Understand | The Notwist

This morning was a bit tough. It was one of those mornings where you wake up and think about the things you don’t want to think about…or the people you dont want to think about…or person really. 

But then you walk into work, turn on Pig Radio, and hear a song you haven’t listened to in ages. And you’re instantly reminded of the amazing people in your life…or person really.

You’re reminded of the night the two of you saw The Notwist with friends back when you lived in L.A. You’re reminded of when you heard one song that made you think about the weird place the two of you where in and when he looked you straight into your eyes and asked What were you thinking about right there?  

You’re reminded of all the shit the two of you went through. The arguing, the crying, the manipulating, the denying. You’re reminded of all the shit the two of you were trying to figure out while doing your damnest to not hurt each other in the process…and trying to make up for it when you did. You’re reminded of how when the dust finally settled, what was left between you two was something beautiful.

You’re reminded of the fact that his home is your home in L.A. You’re reminded of the call you just had with his mom a couple of months ago because the two of you share the same birthday and have made this annual call a tradition. You’re reminded of his wedding and when you sat next to him at the head table during his reception withe biggest smile on your face.

You’re reminded of what this person means to you…and that the moment the two of you met, your life was never the same.

It’s strange. My life is filled with amazing people. People who fucking rock my world in so many beautiful ways. In ways that I probably have yet to even imagine. Through all the weird, fucked-up, angry, and neglectful times we’ve had with each other, the people in my life are still here for me and I’m still here for them. And when I look back at all the good times and bad times I’ve had with people, the glass is still fucking half full.

I think that’s why this morning was so hard for me. Why I hated thinking about the person I woke up thinking about. Because I don’t want to be reminded of all the shit he and I went through. I don’t want to be reminded of how he wasn’t there for me. I don’t want to be reminded that when I look back at all the good times and bad times we had, the glass is half empty. Because the glass has never been half empty for me before. 

And now I’m reminded of what this person means to me…and that the moment the two of us met, my life was never the same.

Thank God for good songs that take me back to better times.

…and better people.