You'll Never Know | Department of Eagels

This is one of my favorite songs ever.

I remember seeing Daniel Rossen perform this at a Department of Eagles show at Cafe du Nord a while back. Joel sent out an email saying we HAD to go to this show. And I went… despite their music being in an incessant Apple commercial. It was a great show. Hands down. But then at the end, when Rossen played this song, everything stopped. 

He sang

…and sang

…and sang

…and sang

…and sang.

Each time he openend his mouth, he gently layered his voice on top of the lingering sounds he laid before.  

It was like someone putting you to bed on a cold night. When they cover you with a sheet, then a blanket, then a duvet, then a comforter, and then a afghan. Or when someone strokes your hair at a pace that you can still feel their last touch just as they start a new one. Or when you’re having sex with someone and you find that rhythm where you don’t know when one of you ends or one of you begins…and you think that if the two of you could move together in unison like that forever you might know some limitlessness of happiness.

I don’t know what it was. But when he started to sing, I just halted. I didn’t realize that every time he hit that loop pedal, he was going to transform the moment I just had into a faded and somewhat unrecognizable layer of the next. I didn’t realize when the song started, that seconds after I would feel everything going in one direction, I’d be pulled into another. I didn’t realize that while listening to the beginning of this song, I would have absolutely no idea what was going on. 

I like that feeling. The feeling of being lost while gently guided.

I should let myself have that feeling more often.