Far Nearer | Jamie xx

I saw Jamie XX last night at public works and he did not disappoint.

I went there just needing to dance my ass off after a long weekend…hell, a long week..fuck, a long month. I tried to dance my ass off but the crowd did not make it easy. I don’t know if the coat check tickets came with a hit of E or what, but I have never seen so many boys annoyingly wanting attention.

Don’t get me wrong, I love cute boys on E. And I’ve even begun to find the novice drug taker more endearing than irritating lately. But I couldn’t help but shake my head the whole time last night. Like the 6'6" dude who came out of nowhere to stand right in front of me (plenty of room elsewhere mind you) and gyrate his hips while not-so-subtly glancing back. Normally I’d have no problem with a tall, cute, built, gyrating boy, but I just wanted to dance, and every time I moved away to give myself space, he kept moving closer. After clock-blocking from dancing me for two tracks he finally spoke up. But it was to late. He had gotten in the way of my dancing for way to long…which in my world is unforgivable. 

Then there was Mr. Forward, who had no problem grabbing my necklace and shouting “THAT’S BAD ASS!” as he pulled it towards him and me along with it. After I thanked him, and gently removed my revered accessory from his grasp, he enthusiastically danced next to me as I watched and danced to Jamie. I couldn’t take my eyes of Jamie for this one track and I think Mr. Forward noticed because his dancing got bigger and bigger to the point of him leaning in front of me waving his hands, like he was hailing a cab or something. I started to crack up. And he just kept on going. Until I finally turned and looked at him and nodded and said “Yes. I see you.” and then turned back to watch Jamie and dance. 

Yes. I am an asshole. A whiny whiny asshole.

But I get it. I do. People want to be seen. People want to be acknowledged, People want to be wanted. Myself included. But sometimes you just can’t do it. Sometimes you can’t be that person that gives people what they need. Sometimes you have to be selfish and do what you need to do…zone out and dance.