Fuck With Myself | Banks

Sometimes I feel I’m way behind.

Like writing for this project. I haven’t written in…wait let me look…okay, April…Not that bad. But still. I’m a little behind.

Sometimes I feel like I’m way behind with relationships. Like I’m still figuring out how to be with someone while everyone else has it down cold.

I’m also feeling a little behind on this track. It was released three months ago and i’m only hearing it now. I’ve always like Banks but this track made me do a double take.

I fuck with myself more and anybody else.

It’s all love.

Wait what?

I used to care what you think about me. 

Cause my love’s so good. 

So I fuck with myself more than anybody else

Um…Fuck yeah. 

This felt like the perfect anthem for the moment. After saying goodbye to someone for the second (and final) time I had these moments. These moments when I’d be sitting alone and suddenly wonder about what I did. These moments when I wondered if telling someone not to reach out to me ever again was too harsh. These moments when I wondered if I wasn’t as accepting as I could be…if the problem wasn’t with him, or us, but with me. These moments when I wonder if I don’t know how to really love someone for who they are.

I used to have a nickel for what you say

Your words would burn in the third degree

But then I remembered asking to be treated better. I remembered asking to not be treated like I was disposable. I remembered asking to figure shit out.

And I then remember getting shut down.

So I fuck with myself more than anybody else

it’s all love

I used to care what you think about me.

Cause my love’s so good.

So I fuck with myself more than anybody else

Yeah. 

No.

I’m good. I mean I still have a ways to go. But maybe I’m not as behind as I think.