Your Design | Grace Mitchell

This week I had a little freak out.

Nothing big. Just my normal way of stressing out about a situation that’s not worth stressing about. But I did it in front of The Dean, something I’ve never done before.

Actually, I’ve never really stressed out in front of anyone I’ve dated. I’ve never let go of my calm, cool, and collected way of handling things. I never felt like I could just have a little freak out. Because if I did…I don’t know…I guess I felt I’d be punished for it somehow.

But for whatever reason, this one time, I freaked out in front of The Dean.

And it was weird. 

It was weird how easily it happened. It was weird how exposed I felt. It was weird uncomfortable it was. Knowing that when things calmed down, he wasn’t going to look at me the same way.

But It was weird how calm he was about it. It was weird how accepting he was. It was weird how comfortable it was. And how, in his response, he looked at me the same way. 

I have no idea why it felt okay let go of my calm, cool, and collected way of handing things. I don’t know why I felt I could freak out in front of him when it’s never felt okay freak out in front if anyone else. But it did.

I’ve been listening to, and loving, this song for a few weeks now. But something about it felt a little off and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I guess now I’m realizing that as much as you want to ask someone “do I fit in your design?” it might be more important to find out if they fit in yours.