Ancient Light | Allman Brown

Last week someone told me “I love you.”

No. It wasn’t one of my parents. Or one of my friends. If was the guy I’m seeing.

It took me by surprise. No one’s ever said that to me.

I laid there silent for a bit trying to wrap my head around what was just said. I couldn’t quite fathom it. I mean I’ve heard those words before in movies but never in real life. It was like he turned to me and said “I’m Batman.” Making my brain go “Wait! What?!” and then get clouded with excitement and fear.

I didn’t say it back though.

Because for all of the songs I’ve listened to about love I still have no fucking clue how it has…or should…or will…manifest itself to me. For every heart caressing lyric, or soul pounding beat, I have no idea what shape love takes in my life. I feel like I need to figure that out before I can say that to someone.

Or maybe I just need to let go of the idea of “figuring it out” and just say it.

Because my life has been feeling a lot like a song since he’s come into the picture.