It's Alright Now | Bombay Motorcycle Club

Hello, World!

“I wonder if anyone I’ve dated would call me emotionally unavailable.” - Me

“You’re kidding right?!” - Lauren

So….apparently I’m emotionally unavailable. Or was. Or can be at times. Whatever it is, this was a bit of a shock to me. I was hanging with Lauren and Helen, and Helen started talking about these articles she read about emotionally unavailable people. When she started listing their traits, I tried to figure out which ones sounded like people I’d been with. But as she went through them, each one ended up sounding more like me. Which caused me to sit up and ask that question. And caused Lauren to look at me in shock at my apparent ignorance.

I had no idea I was emotionally unavailable. I always thought I was emotionally open. Freely sharing my random thoughts and feelings with anyone I came in contact with. Always trying to make people feel comfortable and significant. I’m that way with my friends, strangers, and people I want to touch inappropriately. The fun girl that makes you smile.

But maybe letting other people make me smile doesn’t always come as easily. I mean it does with friends and strangers. But not so much with people i want to touch inappropriately. Making someone else feel at ease, feels a lot easier than someone making me feel at ease.

It’s weird. And I don’t know why. I don’t know why it’s hard for me to feel comfortable with someone sometimes. Well…I kinda know why. I guess it’s just hard to accept. It’s hard to accept that for as much as I love to make people feel comfortable, it’s hard for me to find someone that makes me feel comfortable.

It’s hard to find someone who’ll tell me “It’s all right now”. And who I’ll believe.