gun-shy | Grizzly Bear

I talk about my music like it was medicine. My Itunes library is called Sadia’s Medicine Cabinet. My old iPod is named Sadia’s Pill Box. Music is always what I’ve taken to feel better. But today I needed more than music. I needed orange juice, wellness formula, and sleep. Lots and lots of sleep. 

It felt so weird and so good to sleep during the day. One moment I was sitting on the sofa on a call for work around noon, and the next I was waking up in my bed just after four. And I had no idea how it happened. I woke up in such a haze, trying to wrap my head around the fact that I just slept away the afternoon. And I just laid there. Listening to this song…which kept the haze going. 

This song and the cool breeze from my window made me just lay there. This song makes me think of winter. It makes me think of home. It makes me thing of those cold Chicago days when your eyes begin to tear up from the fight going on between the wind and your eyelids.

Those days are hard.

All you want to do is walk to your car and the city makes it more tiresome than a marathon. All you want to do is move forward and everything around you is trying to push you back. And once you get to your car, you just sit there…waiting for your engine to warm up…for your windows to defrost…for your eyes to stop tearing. You sit there waiting to go where you want to go…where you need to go. But all you can do is sit there…and watch your breath circle right in front of your face…and slowly disappear like it was never there.