All That Matters | Giraffage

I needed this track today.

After a week of hating my job, a week of escaping to SXSW, and coming back to a weekend of all day classes, I’m worn out. And I hate it.

I’m used to being tired. I’ve gotten feeling exhausted, down. But worn out feels a little different. Worn out feels like I’m huddled up in a barrack, out of ammunition, and not sure if or when reinforcements are going to come.

Worn out is when all you can do is sit and wonder how you ended up here. How after quitting your job and getting your MFA, you found yourself at a company that feels like it’s crushing the creativity you tried so hard to cultivate. How after a year of recovery time, the bruise from where that guy punched you in the heart is still tender to the touch. How the city that you’ve made your home for almost 10 years could make the concept of home seem so distant. Worn out is when you know you have to get up, but gravity and the weight of every choice you’ve ever made makes you feel like you can’t move.

So you don’t. You don’t move. You sit still and wait for a track to sit still to. A track that just plays quietly and lets you rest as long as you need to. Until you regain the strength you need to stand up, with the weight of every choice you’ve ever made, and keep going. Feeling tired…maybe even exhausted…but not worn out.