Wired | Pablo Nouvelle

Trying to keep up with my feet. But my mind is wired.

I think I feel that way more often than I'd like to admit. 

There are those times when I'm wondering, questioning, exploring, digging things up, pulling things apart, and blowing it all up for what feels like forever. I'll keep going until I get to some point where I feel like things make sense. Sometimes it's for hours. Sometimes it's for days. But recently it's been months.

Trying to keep up with my feet. But my mind is wired.

I've been digging up, puling apart, and blowing up multiple parts my life since September. It's felt uncomfortable and awesome at the same time. But more lately it's been feeling scary. It's been feeling scary because it's been going on for a while. It's been feeling scary because although it feels like it's coming to an end, part of me wonders if it's far from it. It's been feeling scary because even if this is coming to an end, there's a good chance that sometime in the not-so-distant future I'll start digging up, pulling apart, and blowing up parts of my life again.

Trying to keep up with my feet but my mind is wired

Last week I told Stephen I felt like this was coming to an end but I was scared that it might never come to an end. But what I couldn't wrap my head around was how that somehow things felt different. He agreed. The truth is I'm always wondering, questioning, exploring, digging things up, pulling things apart, and blowing up things that interest me, anger me or confuse me. And up until a few months ago I felt this constant need to do that because things always felt "off" somehow.

But recently that "need" to do that has dissipated. And that feeling "off" isn't there. I'm still doing the same shit but it's because that's what I want to do. I'm doing the same shit but it's because that's what I like to do. So I'm going to keep wondering, questioning, exploring, digging things up, pulling things apart, and blowing it all up. Because that's just what I do