Track X - Black Country, New Road

This track feels a little…off…but I think that’s okay. And I think there’s some beauty in it feeling a little off.

This track came on while I was waiting in line at Arizmendi bakery.

They have little red “X"s six feet apart on the sidewalk, wrapping round the store, showing people where to stand.

When I got in line, the women with a little boy at the end of he line didn’t follow the X’s around the store and was standing “six feet” behind the last man in line.

It’s funny when you notice what people don’t notice.

I stood there playing out the scenarios in my head. Do I say something to her? Do I ignore her new line and stand where I’m supposed to? That might result in a contentious exchange. Or a pleasant one. Or do I just follow her lead, hoping the line will move fast enough for me to wrap it around before anyone get in line behind me. It felt off, but I went for the last option.

I stood there watching how no one really stood on those red X’s. I watched how people stood in front of them. instead of on them. I though of that video I saw on Instagram of the NPR journalist explaining why that happens.

The line finally moved up and I was able to wrap around the building. There was one person behind me but she didn’t follow my lead, or ask why, or notice that I stood on a red “X” where she stood on none. I noticed the line “behind” me grew longer along the sidewalk but not around the building. I thought about how many people just walking down the street were now coming into closer contact with more people than they needed to.

I moved up in line from around the corner. I noticed that the little boy was jumping around near the man in front of them in line and the woman didn’t stop him. I wondered why she didn’t. Maybe she didn’t care. Maybe she didn’t think it mattered. Maybe the little boy was enjoying his first moment outside all day and she wanted him to make the most of it. Maybe the boy had special needs and trying to stop him would make it worse. Maybe she was too exhausted to do anything about it. He didn’t seem special needs. And she didn’t seem exhausted. But what the fuck do I know. But it felt off to see how they didn’t seem to care about anything given everything going on.

The line eventually kept moving. The woman and the little boy got their goodies. I got my goodies. And walked back home.

It’s weird (or maybe not weird anymore given everything going on) how just a walk to a bakery results our brains asking so many questions. It’s weird how a walk to a bakery can make things feel off.

But sometimes that’s how it goes. Sometimes all we can do is observe.

And sometimes there’s some beauty in it feeling a little off.