Youth - Budo Remix | Daughter

The person that you dated isn’t actually who you’re mourning.

I was deleting some old notes on my phone and found this one. I think it was something Aaren said to me when I was really sad about the break-up. I liked it so I wrote it down.

I remember getting what she was saying. I remember thinking it was something I needed to remember. And then I completely forgot it.  

When I saw it today, it was so strange. The mourning was long gone and I could see that she was totally right. But reading it made me realize that although I didn’t mourn a non-person I do miss a real one. And it’s kind of nice in a way. It’s nice to think fondly of the moments you had with someone instead of dwelling angrily on the moment you felt were taken away.

It made me listen to this song in a different way. Well, technically Budo is making me listen to this song in a different way. But listening to it now makes me uncomfortable. Listening to it now, makes me hope everything she feels is true (and honestly I did once too) isn’t true.

I really hope most of us aren’t collecting the names of lovers that went wrong. I hope most of us aren’t bitter over someone. I hope most of us aren’t distracting our harts from ever missing them. 

Because that would be so heartbreaking. 

Because sometimes missing someone means they were meant to be there in the first place.